The Love Lessons I Want to Teach My Daughter

They’re hard won, and nothing like the things I knew at 22.

You might not know it to look at me, but I’ve had more than my fair share of experiences with men.

Pass me on the street, and you’d see a pretty ordinary middle-aged blonde, wearing something that splits the difference between kinda on-trend and fairly modest, and maybe even carrying a briefcase, depending on the day.

But since high school, when I first dated the cool boy from the wrong side of the tracks, the boy who would become my husband at 21 and my ex-husband at 26, I’ve gone out with more men than I can count. That happens when you’ve been single for nearly 20 years of your adult life.

Dating for such a long time was both a fascinating study in psychology, and wildly painful. I endured heartache and disappointment often. I was frequently stood up or let down. Sometimes I was shocked by what men would suggest or discuss. Sometimes I was hurt by someone who I thought was different. Special.

Sometimes, I was scared. I had to secure the help of a friend to escape through the side door of a bar one time, after a guy with whom I’d broken up a few months earlier spotted me and refused to leave me alone. Worse were the times when I’d have to rely on a cab driver or some other stranger to intervene on my…